The Best Episodes of Television
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You can’t choose who or what you love. If I had my druthers, I would probably choose to love literature or poetry and be the kind of person who could quote sonnets and line from Shakespeare on cue. I appreciate art and sculpture. I love theater. I also love films. And yet none of them can hold a candle to my one true love: television.

If what they say is true and television rots your brain, my gray matter disintegrated long ago. All through childhood, it would be on the in the morning before I left for school and then I would turn it on to watch anything and everything when I got home. DuckTales, Full House, Wheel of Fortune, Growing Pains, I watched it all. We take for granted our current television renaissance starting, arguably, with The Sopranos and continuing on with Breaking Bad and The Wire and Game of Thrones just to name a few. These are shows discussed by critics in highbrow magazines. One can mention one’s love for them in any company without fear of judgement.

But let us not forget the mountain of crap. I used to watch Falcon Crest with my parents. I watched Step by Step and Charles in Charge, in the summer there were re-runs of Bewitched. My God, The Brady Bunch. We’ve accepted it now for its nostalgic value but it is the Kilimanjaro of crap.

I put in my ten thousand hours (oh how merciful if it were only that many).

But there are episodes of shows that have stuck out in my mind over the years. I once had an improv teacher say that a knowing “ah” from an audience was a so much better than a laugh. Each of these episodes has that quality. They’re entertaining but there was something a bit extra that made them more than just entertaining.

Most of these are what most people might deem “cult classic” shows. I guess that’s just my taste. I have been influenced and impressed by more typical network sitcoms. I loved Friends and Seinfeld. I’ll always have a soft spot for Night Court and Frasier. The reason that neither of those have episodes in this list is due more to their sheer volume of great plot lines, I couldn’t even begin to sift through them all.

So, here they are, my favorite episodes of television.

Arrested Development, “Pier Pressure”

I take away a few lessons from Arrested Development. First, I believe that shows that mean a lot to a select group of people will fail to catch on with all of the people. Arrested Development (like Freaks and Geeks and My So-Called Life, both of which are coming up) is a prime member of the Brilliant But Canceled club. I, however, think Arrested Development was perfect. It had three solid seasons and the quality never suffered. Which brings me to lesson number two, leave well enough alone. I didn’t think we needed the Netflix additional episodes but that’s just me.

But let’s talk about the episode. This is the one where Michael tried to teach George Michael a lesson about the dangers of marijuana using GOB’s hot cops strippers to help. But the reason this episode is so great is we get introduced to J. Walter Weatherman, the one-armed man that was used to teach all of the Bluth children violent lessons as children. Their actions always resulted in a man losing his arm.

It was the most random joke I had seen in a sitcom in my life. I thought, “this show is out of its mind and I’m completely addicted.” It gets even better when you realize that the idea for all of this came from the producer note, “write an episode in which George Michael learns a lesson.”

30 Rock, “The Tuxedo Begins”

I love all of 30 Rock but I chose this one because of the extended Batman references. Liz turning into the joker is one of the Liz Lemonest moments in a show full of them. I don’t have much more to say about this one but a 30 Rock just needed to be included.

My So-Called Life, “Self-Esteem”

Any My So-Called Life episode could be included here. But I have to choose one, so, I decided on “Self-Esteem.” This is the episode where Angela and Jordan start making out in the secret school make out place in the basement. But Jordan refused to acknowledge Angela anywhere else in school. It’s high school stuff, yeah, but it’s really painful high school stuff. At the end of the episode, in a bit of a stand-off, Jordan approaches Angela – in slow motion with “Late at Night” by Buffalo Tom playing in the background no less – and, in front of the whole school, asks her to “go somewhere.” As they walk down the hall, he holds her hand. It’s one of the most romantic moments in television history. Come on, people, I’m not made of stone.

Freaks and Geeks, “Dead Dogs and Gym Teachers”

Again, any Freaks and Geeks episode could make this list. I’m choosing this episode simply because it contains the scene below.

This is a pretty melancholy episode where we get a glimpse into Bill’s world. His mother, who we know by this point has not had the easiest life, has found some happiness with a new boyfriend who happens to be Bills gym teacher (who, in perfect casting, is played by Thomas F. Wilson, the guy who played Biff in Back to the Future).

This show, like high school, was all about different groups and cliques and their boundaries. In this episode, we see Lindsay’s mathlete friend Millie almost go over the the freak dark side after the death of her dog.

It’s an episode about rebellion and reconciliation. Plus, Nick’s rendition of “Lady L” and all of The Who’s music. It’s a great episode among great episodes.

Undeclared, “God Visits”

Undeclared came out both after Freaks and Geeks and right after 9/11. So, it was a spiritual sequel to a cult classic that premiered when no one cared about new television. I didn’t discover it until the box set came out. It turns out, they didn’t even show these episodes in order when they aired them on Fox. What chance did this show have? The “God Visits” episode I’m pretty sure didn’t air at all! But it’s my favorite. Steven, heartbroken over his floor crush Lizzie, has a run in with a campus Christian, Luke (played by Kevin Hart – this episode alone made me a huge Kevin Hart fan). Meanwhile, Lloyd gets exposed to existentialism and the meaninglessness of the universe. We see both of them embark on their newfound philosophical quests, with Steven full of love for God’s creation and Lloyd becoming the campus’s id.

One thing that makes a great episode is a great ending. Steven loses his faith when he sees Luke making out with a hot campus coed and Lloyd hears the obsessively driven music major on the floor playing the violin. His heart full, a tear running down his cheek, he tells her, “That was beautiful.” She shoots back, “it sucked.”

That’s how you end an episode.

The IT Crowd, “The Final Countdown”

I love it when a character gets to shine in his or her element. In this episode we get to see Moss become the king of a particular subculture, the world of Countdown, a British gameshow similar to Scrabble. He is invited to 8+, the exclusive club for Countdown contestants. I also love an extended reference and we get a Matrix one here with the character Prime (whose real name is Harold Tong, though, he “no longer goes by it”). According to Prime, Moss is The One. We see him succeed with Countdown groupies and be treated like a kingpin in an underground world.

We also see Roy telling his college friend that he is not, in fact, a window cleaner and then, in a great episode ending punchline, on the order of “Dolores!” form Seinfeld, Roy says, “Macs? No, I usually work with Windows.”

Every episode of this series is brilliant but this one is one of my favorites.

Party Down, “Jackal Onassis Backstage Party”

This is probably my favorite episode of television ever. Each episode of Party Down follows the characters to a new event that they have to cater. This episode finds them catering the backstage party for Jackal Onassis, a Marilyn Manson stand-in. This episode is truly great because of Jimmi Simpson. Jimmi, a McPoyle from It’s Always Sunny and, if you haven’t seen it, the Lyle the Intern sketches from Late Night with David Letterman, is possessed of an insidious yet non-threatening arrogance that works for his portrayal of Jackal Onassis. Jackal has contempt for his own fame and yet is so famous that he can never truly understand what it’s like to work. He trades places with one of the party down employees Roman (Martin Starr, Bill from Freaks and Geeks above). Roman is able to walk throughout the party as Jackal Onassis, in a costume that allows him to look famous to groupies and yet, he still strikes out. Even dressed up like a rock star, Roman has no luck with women.

Jackal, who wants to be called Dennis, says he would like nothing more than to be fired. How great would that be? And, at the end, there is an opportunity to blame a problem on an employee and Henry, thinking on his feet, turns to him and says, “Dennis, you’re fired.” Jackal smiles.

It’s a brilliant episode with a satisfying ending.

I’m sure I’m missing many other episodes that I love but these are all brilliant.

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