8 Authors I’m Trying to Pretend to Know to Write A Goddamn McSweeney’s Piece
9 Lifehacks for Proven Success
There is nothing more helpful than a bunch of humblebrags disguised as lifehacks.
Katie Holmes and Jamie Foxx May Be Engaged Despite Any Proof They Actually Know Each Other!
Are They Or Aren't They?! Or Is This Completely Made Up?!
It’s Not A Metaphor For Our Relationship
Here's the thing, I think my girlfriend is going to break up with me. Not anytime soon and not for any reason in particular but just perpetually.
Throughout history it has always been a Trump that has moved us, strengthened us, made us feel human. Here is just a sampling of my favorites that get me through the day.
Diary of a Month Without Coffee
For some reason, I feel the need to hit the reset button on my caffeine intake. I did it again this February.
I was inspired to do this by Patton Oswalt's book, Silver Screen Fiend. Here are one hundred moments from movies that have stuck with me and that I still appreciate.
I'm through saying "I'm so old." Frankly, I'm old enough to realize that I'm young.
Farting In Front of My Girlfriend
My girlfriend and I have been together for close to three years. I'd say that two years is a reasonable relationship length to let some defenses down. Well, whether it is or not, it was.
The summer after third grade, my parents hired a contractor to do some work on our house. I learned a lot about adults that summer.
You yell like one of those guys at a baseball game, only you yell about stand-up comedy, not hot dogs or Budweiser. This is barking.
On My Twenty-Ninth Birthday, I Bought a Skateboard
I wrote this a decade ago. I wanted to ollie before I turned 30 but life got in the way. Carpe diem, people.