My English Teacher’s Life Story Blew My Mind or: How I Got a 5 on My AP English Exam

In high school, I worried about what I thought was my life. Meanwhile, my teacher had lived a hell of a life I never knew about.

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Successful Comedians Making Stuff About Unsuccessful Comedians

You're not unsuccessful. Honey, I'm unsuccessful.

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Anxiety and Improv

I don't improvise to feel anxiety, I do it to beat it.

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Katie Holmes and Jamie Foxx May Be Engaged Despite Any Proof They Actually Know Each Other!

Are They Or Aren't They?! Or Is This Completely Made Up?!

Starbucks coffee and laptop

Working In Starbucks

Ask The Asshole Commenting on Your Friend’s Facebook Status

Out of nowhere, The Asshole Commenting on Your Friend's Facebook Status brings you the truth you didn't ask for.


Luke Skywalker Can’t Read

It was only by chance that I came upon his collection of essays but I'm glad I did. In a world of self appointed sci-fi experts, Ryan Britt is a Jedi.

Horace and Pete: Some Final Thoughts

I said I wouldn't but I continued watching the show. Here's what I think about the remaining six episodes.


I Saw 50 Shades Darker On Valentine’s Day And It Was Awesome

Want to enjoy a movie? Watch it with drunk women.

The Indie Rock Memoir (and also Moby)

Even though they aren't huge stars, their books are great, though not immune to some tropes.

On My Twenty-Ninth Birthday, I Bought a Skateboard

I wrote this a decade ago. I wanted to ollie before I turned 30 but life got in the way. Carpe diem, people.

Regarding My Bros

Over twenty years, I've watched my frat bros become doctors, lawyers, parents. I've even seen two pass away.

Some Thoughts on Thirty-nine

I'm through saying "I'm so old." Frankly, I'm old enough to realize that I'm young.

On Social Media And Supporting Black Lives Matter

I didn't know what to say at first but the answer is simple. Black lives matter.

On Becoming a Man Sorta

I think that any concept I have of masculinity comes from my father's benevolent nihilism and I always wondered if not having a dad himself made him so atypically dad-like.

Everyone Needs Their Coulier

Jagged Little Pill has all the wisdom