Two days ago, July 3rd, would have been my mother’s 77th birthday. June 16th was 9 years since my dad died. I’ve got my parents on the brain a little bit.

It’s funny that people can look at a picture of either of them and say, “Wow you looks exactly like your [Mom/Dad]” depending on the picture. I’m a mix of the two for sure, both looks wise and personality wise.

I attribute a lot of good, calm stuff to my dad and a lot of the hot headed stuff I don’t like to my mom but I’m starting to realize that that’s not exactly true either. So, really quickly, here’s a list of the things that I got from both of them.

Mom

• Anxiety – The anxiety genes are all from Jene’s side of the family (Jene’s genes, I like that).
• Catholic guilt – A close cousin of the above. (See also: Jene’s Irish genes)
• Drama – I credit my mother with any acting ability that I have but also my tendency to talk a bit too loud when I’m telling a story in a public place. (I’ve received that palms down, air-patting, quiet down gesture from friends a bit too many times.)
• Teaching ability – My mom was an English teacher after college and I saw her coach my friends Pat and Jeff in speech and debate in high school. She was good. And I think she taught me how to lead a room, which came in handy for improv coaching.
• Blue eyes / jaw line – Both of my parents have blue eyes but I think mine are from mom. And I know that a jaw line is a weird thing to notice but I remember my sister on her wedding day and I remember the one picture that I ever saw of my grandfather from his days in the Air Force. It’s distinctive and it’s from her.

Dad

• Math – Mom sure as hell couldn’t do it.
• Charm/Reserve – I think this is just a British thing and, yes, I’m referring to myself as charming here. Pompous? Possibly. But I can get away with it because I’m so damn charming.
• Dry humor – Again, it’s just a British thing.
• Anger – See, I always thought any burst of emotion could be attributed to my mom but I think that my dad had some anger beneath the surface. He let it out rarely but I can see similar frustration issues in myself.
• Male pattern baldness / hands – My dad had a full head of hear into his sixties but I can tell that my balding pattern is from his uncles Tony and Reg. We also had the same hands, with our weird pointy index fingers and gnarly knuckles.

Both

• A love of reading – My mother read a lot of trash when I was growing up but whenever I mentioned any book that I was reading, for school, for anything, she had already read it. And when Mike Birbiglia made this joke about his father, “My father consumed war biographies the way I consumed Cinnamon Toast Crunch: quickly,” it made me think of my dad.
• A love of theater – My parents met in the theater, during a production of The Prime of Miss Jean Brodie. My mother was the actress but they both loved acting. My mother once confessed, “Don’t tell him I said this but your father wasn’t much of an actor. He was a great director, though.”
• Class resentment – Both of my parents grew up poor and they hated being talked down to. I grew up upper middle class but I kept the part where I hate being talked down to.

Neither

• Athletic ability – My mother failed gym in college. Failed it. My father never exercised and was overweight for most of his life. I run about three times a week. I snowboard. I can passably play most organized sports. Not sure where that trait was buried.
• Computer literacy – This one’s circumstantial. If my father had been born in the 70’s, he would have been fine. My mother didn’t understand how a mouse worked. Born at any time, she would have been the Genius Bar’s worst nightmare.