England vs. Uruguay Preview: I Hate Luis Suarez
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Let me be clear: I love to hate Christiano Ronaldo but I hate Luis Suarez. This is all that is on my mind before today’s game. God, I hate that guy.

I’ve hated him from the start and by “the start” I mean the Uruguay – Ghana quarterfinal in 2010. I hated that he used his hand to stop that goal and I hate that it paid off for his team. I hated watching him jump up and down in glee from the tunnel when Gyan missed the penalty.

And then he transferred to Liverpool and I had to watch this guy some more.

He bit Branislav Ivanović. He’s a grown man who bit another man. And it wasn’t the first time! Are you kidding me? He bit another guy when he was on Ajax?! When someone bites other people, it’s cause for concern… when you’re in preschool. When you’re a grown-ass man, it’s not only bizarre, it’s evidence of something seriously wrong with the biter. It’s you and Mike Tyson, pal. That’s not good company.

And as if it couldn’t get any worse, his behavior with Patrice Evra was unacceptable. Now, look, I wasn’t there, so, I didn’t hear any racial abuse from Suarez. Also, I’m no Patrice Evra fan but Suarez was found guilty.

And then we had to deal with the handshake.

Look, the handshake thing may be getting out of hand. Will Wayne Bridge shake John Terry’s hand before the game?! (No. And good for Wayne Bridge) Regardless of what you think of that extra dose of gossip injected into the Premier League, the fact is, it’s there. So, when two feuding players face each other, we watch. Patrice wanted to make his simple statement by not shaking Suarez’s hand. And then Luis grabbed his hand. It was a dick move.

And this past season he lit it up. The Premier League Golden Boot. Multiple Player of the Year awards. Scoring for fun! And I had to listen to commentators praise him even though he’s a racist cannibal cheater. At least I got to see him cry at the end of the season when Liverpool blew that game and couldn’t win the league. That was great.

God, I hate that guy.

But seriously, for today’s game…

I want England to win. A loss today makes them another group stage victim like Spain. It’s do or die. But I’ve been disappointed before and I’m prepared to be disappointed again. I just want them to play with heart. I want Raheem Sterling to continue to run rampant over the left flank and create chances. (I also can’t help but think of a blaxploitation private detective when I hear his name. Seriously, think about it… “Melvin van Peebles IS… Raheem Sterling.” Right?). I want Daniel Sturridge to score again. I want Stephen Gerrard to play one game for England where he shows his Liverpool form. I want Wayne Rooney to make his mark on England and justify our obsession. He’s a senior player now. He’s not the young upstart anymore. And he’s never scored for England in a World Cup? Seriously? Well, whatever, onward and upward!

I don’t know tactics. I can’t pontificate about the individual players and the subtle contribution each selection could make to the result. I don’t know, man. I just want to see England win.

And I really really don’t want Luiz Suarez to score. God, I hate that guy.

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