It’s a commonly held opinion that airports are these joyous places. People happily greet each other after long trips. They have reunions after time apart. People are excited to venture out on vacations.

Having travelled all day today and been in three different airports I can truly say that airports are one of the least pleasant places on earth.

Sure, the airplane is modern miracle that enables us to travel the world in a way undreamt of by most of the humans in history. It’s a privilege to be able to afford a ticket to fly on one. I get it. But for Christ’s sake why is there the same magazine store and the same just cheesy enough sports bar (the one in Atlanta this morning was called – no joke – Chicken and Beer) and several food chains selling overpriced and most likely stale food that you’re forced to consume because you won’t be home for hours.

What exactly is so unpleasant? Well, they’re all far away from wherever you’re going. So, you have to get there. It takes a long ride from a friend or a Lyft or a train and then an Air Train. It’s annoying. And you have to be there an hour before the flight leaves because you board the airplane forty-five minutes before it leaves. I saw two people get to their gate right at the time the flight was supposed to leave but the door was closed and they were screwed. That’s annoying.

TSA. Taking your shoes off. And your belt. That weird thing where you step on the two yellow footprints and put your arms above your head. Baggage claim.

Did I just turn this into a 1980s stand up routine without the punchlines?

I get that this is pretty well worn territory. But I woke up at 4:30AM and slept sleeping up for an hour on a seat that doesn’t recline on a Spirit Airlines flight from New Orleans to Atlanta. Then I waited three hours for my next flight without finding any decent coffee, flew from Atlanta to Newark in the same Spirit Airlines seats that don’t recline. Now it’s 10:30 and I’m exhausted.

I think I’m just glad to be home.