8 Random Mini Lists

Viral Videos That Make Me Cry
1. Service members surprising their children coming home from duty
2. Someone with Down Syndrome getting their college acceptance letter
Old Commercials That Make Me Cry
1. The David Duchovny Pedigree adoption drive commercial
2. The United Negro College Fund commercial from the eighties with Courtney B. Vance (there’s an extended version where his little brother comes into his room with a piggy bank and says, “Will this help?” That’s when the water works really start.)
Expressions in Internet Speak That I’d Like to Retire
1. Just Sayin’
2. Okay thanks bye
3. Just gonna leave this here
4. All the feels
5. Hold my beer
6. Shut up, Rob
Teams I’ll Be Rooting For in the World Cup This Summer
1. Belgium
2. Iceland
3. France
4. England
Teams I Won’t Be Rooting For In The World Cup This Summer
1. Germany
2. Brazil
3. Germany
4. Germany
Books That I Haven’t Read That I Keep On My Shelf to Impress People
1. The Power Broker
2. Infinite Jest
3. The Best American Essays of the Century
Books That I Have Read That I Keep On My Shelf to Impress People
1. The Autobiography of Malcolm X as told to Alex Haley
2. Notes of a Native Son
3. All of that Philip Roth crap
Other Forms of Entertainment That Make Me Feel Better Than Watching Tottenham Hotspur Lose To Manchester United in the FA Cup Semifinal
1. The Junot Diaz New Yorker article
2. Listening to Sea Change in a room with no windows
3. A super cut of Dead Poet’s Society where it’s just Neil’s suicide