Foot Drop and the Terror of Vague Symptoms

I hit the hypochondriac jackpot.

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James Dean in Times Square

The Secret Smoker Relapses

Two and a half years down the drain. How did that happen?

On Disappearing Completely

Rejecting everything doesn't solve anything.

On Forced Enthusiasm: I Wanted To Be A Millionaire

When the only requirement is, "Be happy!" I'm out.


Waiting by the Side of the River for a Toaster Oven

"Wait long enough by the side of the river and you will see the body of your enemy floating by." It's either Sun Tzu or Rising Sun, either way, I like it.

My English Teacher’s Life Story Blew My Mind or: How I Got a 5 on My AP English Exam

In high school, I worried about what I thought was my life. Meanwhile, my teacher had lived a hell of a life I never knew about.

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Disaster Fantasies

Sometimes thinking about worst-case scenarios in your own life is a luxury.

Facebook Has Become a Problem

How did I get addicted? I mean, it's just a website, right?